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The Ultimate Betrayal


One may argue that infidelity is one of the worst offenses that you can commit against a spouse or a mate. Although different in nature emotional and/or physical cheating can be both devastating and extremely painful. One can even argue that the most common reason that people cheat is because they feel a sense of emotional disconnection from their partner. The person committing the offense may feel lonely, unappreciated and sad which may lead to anger and resentment. The two types of infidelity are emotional and physical.


Emotional infidelity usually starts off as a friendship and then over time, the level of intimacy increases and more personal information is revealed usually in regards to the unhappiness of the other persons primary relationship. The "friend" then starts to take on the role of a partner as they begin to spend more and more time with each other and in each others thoughts which may even lead to physical intimacy.


Physical infidelity usually happens when a partner is dissatisfied sexually in his or her primary relationship. Sex may not be as often or as fulfilling as they would like; not pleasurable, not reaching a climax, or lacks intensity. Some even miss the excitement of the honey moon phase of the relationship when sex was more spontaneous.


I have experienced both forms of infidelity and from my experience, it is painful, devastating and life changing especially if there was no indication that there was a problem in the relationship. It felt like I had been blindsided by the person that I had invested so much trust, respect and love for. The aftermath of infidelity leaves you confused and you even start to ask yourself why didn't I see this coming? What did I do to deserve such betrayal? Why didn't he say anything to me? What could I have done to prevent this? It is important to know that it is absolutely normal for the person that had the affair to be defensive or cast blame on their partner to mask their feelings of guilt, shame and fear, however, a mature and responsible mate will acknowledge that absolutely nothing justifies their betrayal. If there is not full disclosure and responsibility for their actions then there is no way that trust can be rebuilt and it is probably worth it to separate and move on. Infidelity is more about the person having the affair than it is about their mate. Can you forgive the person that has betrayed your trust? Sure! With work and counseling, it is absolutely possible to move past such a devastating offense and rebuild trust. However if the person committing the offense is not accountable for their actions, then it is very likely that this will happen time and time again. I would also suggest counseling or investing in a life coach if you make the decision to move on from the relationship. It takes time for a broken heart to heal and healing is key to be able to move on to healthier relationships with people who are worthy of your love and trust.

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